Choose Your Fighter: People-Pleaser Edition
In our first issue of The Font, I talked about the mistake I see constantly: leaders who skip the work of getting to know themselves and sprint straight to leading everyone else.
(If you feel called out right now, go back and read that issue again. It’s a consistent error I see when coaching!)
But, in this issue, I’m sharing what comes next. While knowing yourself is step one, trusting yourself is where it actually gets hard and where you need to deep-dive into your skill set on a daily basis.
Here's what self-trust looks like when you have it:
And here's what it looks like when you don't:
I've been there. You may be there. You may notice this behavior on your teams. Believe it or not, most leaders have experience with this in some way. We’ve all got to start from somewhere.
The difference between the two options above is simple: practice. Self-trust gets built the same way any skill does, by doing the work repeatedly over time. It’s almost a muscle that needs to be built. You examine your story. You sit with your values. You make decisions and live with them and learn from them. Slowly, you stop needing external validation to feel like you know what you're doing.
Four places to dig in
So where do you start? Here are three places to put in the reps this week:
Notice what your inner critic is saying. That voice telling you you're about to get it wrong, that someone's going to push back, that you should check with three more people before deciding—that's your saboteur. Start by just noticing when it shows up.
Look back before you look forward. Self-trust doesn't get built by thinking about the future. It gets built by examining the past: the decisions you made, the hard things you survived, the moments you actually got it right. Your story is evidence.
Stop waiting to be ready. Self-trust doesn't show up before you act; it shows up because you did. Every time you make a call, follow through, and live with the outcome, you're adding to a track record that your brain actually believes.
Ask yourself what you actually value. A lot of the second-guessing we do as leaders comes from being unclear on what we're actually optimizing for. When your values are fuzzy, every decision feels harder than it needs to be.
That last one? We built a whole (free!) mini-course around it.
Our values mini-course is where that starts—free, focused, and built for leaders who are ready to stop circling and start moving. Here's what's inside:
Introduction to Values: what they actually are and why they drive everything
Values Inventory: identify the set you've been carrying your whole life
Values in Action: connect your values to your story in a way that actually sticks
Values Exploration: outline your top 10 and get honest about how aligned you really are
Taking Stock: A real conversation about what this work looks like in practice
This week’s song is “Learning to Trust Myself” by MEGA. It's about that moment when the path feels dark and uncertain, and you realize the only voice you actually need is the one already inside you. The whole song is essentially a mantra for exactly what we've been talking about: self-trust is something you practice, especially on the hard days. Find it on the BFFs (Bold Font Friends) playlist on Spotify.
When you get there, your team will feel the difference immediately. That’s what we’re holding out for!
We’re on your side, so call on us for help,
Lauran Arledge
Founder, Bold Font
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