Are you someone worth leaning on?

Bill Withers (I’m not aging myself here, am I?) figured out something that takes most leaders years to learn: You need people, and they need you, and the only way that actually works is if the trust is real.

I think about "Lean on Me" a lot in my work. Not in a “kumbaya” way, but in a practical, what-does-this-actually-require way. The sentiment in that famous song is about showing up for the people in your life and letting them show up for you. That sounds simple until you're in a workplace where trust has eroded and suddenly nobody's leaning on anybody, for anything.

That's what low trust looks like in an organization. 

Something we teach in our programs that I’ve heard really resonates with folks is remembering that for every one thing that erodes trust in a relationship, it takes five trust-building interactions to get back to even. This is what we call the 5:1 Rule. Most leaders have never heard this, but their teams are living it—because every broken commitment, every missed follow-up, and every time someone said one thing and did another, gets tallied up. And when the erosions outpace the deposits in the “Trust Bucket”, the whole dynamic tangibly shifts.

Think about the last time someone let you down at work. Maybe they said they would help you on a project but instead took the credit for it themselves. You probably adjusted how much you relied on them after that, even without consciously deciding to (or maybe it was conscious). That exact scenario is the “trust bucket math” running in the background of every working relationship you have.

Now flip that scenario and think about the leaders who built genuine trust with you. I'd bet it wasn't some big, dramatic moment. They were consistent and told the truth even when it was hard. They just simply did what they said they'd do.

That’s one trust-building trait that doesn't get nearly enough credit: being predictable.

Most leaders are out there trying to be impressive, but the underrated ones are focused on being consistent. When your team can anticipate how you'll respond, that's trust in action. Think about whether you're getting invited to the important meetings, the client rooms, the high-stakes conversations. Competence gets you considered. Predictability gets you trusted.

Remember that trust doesn't come from talent or seniority. It gets built through:

Any one of those being low pulls the whole team down. You can have the most talented individuals in the room and still underperform if the trust between them is fractured, because people stop being fully honest and stop bringing their best thinking. Instead, they start protecting themselves and caving in on themselves.

You can fix the right thing a lot faster when you know what's actually broken: If a relationship at work feels strained, get specific. Where's the breakdown? Is it honesty? Accountability? Safety? The answer tells you what to address.

And if trust has already taken a hit in a relationship, repair is always available. The most powerful thing you can do is acknowledge what happened directly, take genuine accountability, and say what you'll do differently. People remember a real apology, followed by changed behavior, more than anything else.

You have to be someone worth leaning on. That's the whole job as a leader!

Until next time,
Lauran Arledge
Founder, Bold Font

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